Why can’t I just get over it?
Thoughts from the past keep coming up to the surface.
I thought it was over – I thought I had moved on.
It’s no big deal, I should be able to move on… but I can’t.
Something must be wrong with me.
I can’t sleep… crazy thoughts disturb my sleep each night.
Now, out of nowhere, I get furious.
For no reason, everything seems fine, and I burst into tears.
I’m feeling inexplicably afraid of things I shouldn’t fear.
While I never used to get frustrated easily, I’m constantly cranky now.
I’m on the edge, and I can’t pretend anymore.
I’m beginning to think I deserved this.
As a trained psychotherapist with over 20 years in the field of mental health – I’m here to tell you –
There’s nothing wrong with you!
You did not deserve this! This is not your fault!
This is what trauma looks like – and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.
In fact, all human beings will experience some level of trauma in their lives.
Understanding trauma…
Trauma is one of the most complicated, denied, and misunderstood ailments of human pain.
Most people will view trauma as the result of a major life-changing event – like a sexual assault or fleeing from the burning towers on 9/11.
In truth, any situation that leaves you feeling overwhelmed, unable to establish control, unsafe, and isolated can cause trauma. It can also result from a succession of consistent negative experiences in one particular area of life.
It’s not the actual circumstance that determines whether an event is traumatic – but your subjective emotional experience of the event. The more helpless or unsafe you feel, the more likely you are to be traumatized.
To make things even more complicated, sometimes the effects of trauma might not manifest for a long time.
Often, your subconscious buries the experience until something else – a highly stressful situation, a relationship conflict, or some other reminder associated with what happened – triggers all those feelings of fear and pain.
And sometimes, trauma is misdiagnosed as depression and anxiety and treated as such. In effect, it never gets treated properly – and can lead to even more frustration, self-doubt, and bitterness.
Affecting the mind, body, and spirit –
The effects of trauma differ for each individual; however, you may experience feelings of hopelessness, numbness, inability to trust, isolation or lack of connection, upsetting emotions and memories, and inability to cope.
As if those were not enough, you may also notice somatic effects – it may diminish your physical well-being.
It can take a long time to work through the pain and feel safe again.
But there is HOPE.
Whether your trauma resulted from something recent or years ago – you CAN make healing changes and move forward with your life again.
First, we’ll work together to reclaim your sense of safety and stability. I’ll teach you self-soothing techniques to help calm your mind and manage flashbacks and disturbing thoughts.
I’ll work with you to unweave the tangled mess left in your mind, to help you make sense of what happened.
Next, we’ll address the grief and mourning that comes along with trauma. We need to handle these elements properly to keep your trauma from turning into PTSD.
Eventually, as we continue to collaborate, you’ll be able to recreate a new sense of self, enhance your emotional balance, and empower yourself to embrace life with a new feeling of clarity and purpose.
You can gain back control of your life.
The power of telling your story – and learning to rewrite your narrative – will bring you more self-awareness and help you get much needed closure.
Instead of being victimized by your past, you can learn to take your pain and use it as a catalyst for psychological and spiritual growth.
Contact me at (973) 798-8680. Together, we can make it possible for you to emerge stronger on the other side.